On a not so recent grocery shopping adventure I happen to throw asparagus into the shopping cart.  Personally I am a big fan of them grilled and seasoned… plain and simple.  However, since I started cooking that just seemed too boring.  Besides, how do I turn that into an exciting post? (Bob Ross voice: Take your happy little asparagus and lay them out nicely in a bowl.  Sprinkle some happy salt and seasoning over them.  Oh doesn’t that look pretty?) you would fall asleep before I finished the post.

So I went Googlin’ for a beer batter recipe and stumbled upon one by Paula Deen.

Beer Battered Asparagus with Lemon Herbed Dipping Sauce. Must be awesome, right? Heck yea!

Go with prepping the dipping sauce first.

• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1 tsp. lemon juice (fresh of course)
• 1/2 tsp. of grated lemon zest
• 1/4 tsp. black pepper
• 1 tsp. chopped fresh thyme leaves
• 1/2 tsp. minced fresh rosemary leaves (no I am not a cook and don’t understand the difference between chopped and minced)
• Pinch salt (unless you are a salt fiend like myself… then 2 pinches)

Mix this all up in a little bowl, cover it with plastic wrap and drop it in the fridge to chill.

Next up, the beer batter.

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. pepper
• 1 tbsp. finely grated lemon zest
• 1 cup beer (I went with none other than… Brooklyn Lager)

Take your “Happy Little Asparagus” and cut off the ends.  If the asparagus is longer than your pan that you will use to fry, I suggest cutting them in half in order to fit (yes, mine barely fit and I ended up cutting them after frying just 3 stalks.)

Get some vegetable oil into your pan and get it nice and hot (I again use my inexpensive cast iron pan). You don’t want the oil to be so hot that they cook too quickly because a.) you may burn them, and b.) the asparagus isn’t going to have a chance to cook.

When it’s ready, batter those puppies and drop them into the oil.  Remember to prep a plate with paper towel to lay out the cooked ones so as to soak up any excess oil.

Enjoy what is left of your beer while you are cooking (Never waste a good beer!) Who is that behind the beer?  My owl coffee mug of course.  Doesn’t everyone have one?  Everyone should have one.

So I finish up my asparagus and no that is not all we had for dinner.  We also cooked up some spicy turkey sausage, but that would have also been a bore to write about (cook sausage, plate sausage, end of not so epic food story).

I realised I had left over batter and happened to have left over pizza in the fridge. So I thought, why not give it a shot! I took the slice, covered it in the batter and turned up the heat on the oil.  This time I want it to fry quickly so as not to have the pizza soak up too much oil sitting in the pan.

TahDah! Fried Pizza. Be jealous.

Yes, it was pretty awesome, as were the asparagus.  However, next time I would probably not use the lemon zest for the pizza.

What awesome stuff have you tried deep-fried?  Let me know!

Until next time, ChChow down my friends!

(“Slim, what’s with that corny line that you started using?”…”The extra “Ch” is for dramatic effect. I like it.  If you have read this far down the page then I guess you don’t mind it.”)